STAY
by jadedlilgirl
Summary: When Hotaru died, Michiru blamed Haruka. Now she returns to Tokyo. She asked her to stay but she ran away, is it too late? Read to find out.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I feel really sh**ty, my humor is down, I tried to continue the other stories but I know I would ruin it with my sadness so I wrote a new one instead. I'm already done with the fic, but I'm gonna cut it into segments for chapters and update it weekly or not. I don't know, but you will.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Haruka and Michi and BSSM, Naoko Takeuchi does.**

Twelve long years, it took me twelve long years to realize what I've done. What I took advantage of, what I let go of and who I lost. In pride and arrogance there is always no route to winning anything. Here I am, without it and without any self- esteem, still pretending that everything is fine. Blind-sided. Back in Tokyo- to marry a wonderful man. I blink, tears- they're so foreign to me now. Why should I cry?

_Flashback_

_She lost her career to an accident. It took her cars, fame, money and job away from her. But it also took our little girl's life away from us. Little Hotaru who would not have been so little anymore. She died in that accident, and in my grief, I centered all my anger on poor Haruka._

"_Michi… Michi… wait, please don't leave! Don't do this! I need you!" Haruka said, as she stumbles and falls to the ground together with her cane._

"_You'll learn how to walk Haruka." I said, stern. Taking our engagement ring off of my fingers, throwing it but not to purposely hit her face. Tears began streaming on her pale skin, her hair, although a little bit longer escaped those tears. Haruka pushed herself off the ground picked up the ring and walked ever so slowly and surely towards Michiru,_

"_That's not what I meant. Everything will be alright as long as we're together right?" She said in between tears. Smiling as she does so- but there was something about her smile that it painful to watch. Her brows furrowed as she tried to maintain that SMILE and sob at the same time. She slowly reached for my hand but before she could put the ring back onto my finger, I snapped her hand away from mine._

"_Because of you she died! Hotaru died! Because of your selfish thrill seeking!" I never meant to blame her, but she was the driver. How else can I explain what happened to myself? I needed to get away from her._

"_Don't you think I wish It was me, instead of her? Everyday! I just want her to be in my place, I want her to be alive. If I could tell God to do a miraculous exchange I would! Michi… please… I love you." Again, her tears were over-flowing, why couldn't I just have embraced her? I wish… I did._

"_I don't and I wish that too. But this is life and no one can grant my wish." I closed my suit case, ready to leave all of this pain behind, Haruka caught up with me, I don't know how, specially with her condition, but she did. She embraced me from behind, I tried to wiggle out of her grip, but she kept it firm._

"_I love you. I'm sorry, but I promise, I'll try to be a better fiancé, I'll be the best person for you, please… don't do this. I understand, you're angry and I deserve it, I don't care what you do to me, just STAY. Stay, Michi, for us, stay." How I wish I did. But that day- I was not myself. I was stupid. I was heartless. I twisted my body so that I was face to face with her. She looked so… tragically beautiful. Without hesitation, I pushed her. It was so easy to push her, she fell. Without a word, I left- hoping I would leave the pain behind. I could hear her call out for my name, her desperate attempt to run towards me, her resignation and her cry._

_I made it to my cab, stuffing it with my belongings. I left. I escaped. I only escaped the place. The scene of the crime, so to speak. But the pain never left me._

_End Flashback_

Now, I stand here in this bridge. The bridge that meant everything and anything to the three of us. Meeting place, celebrations, reconciliation's and so much more. I look at the river beneath it, same thing goes by. Canoes, people smiling and laughing and laughing while enjoying the scene. I tuck my hair back into place and behind my ear. The wind passes me by.

"Michiru?" That voice… I Immediately turned around to see a pleasantly surprised Haruka, She had longer hair, about medium length, her eyes are still as equally piercing, handsome as ever and still tragically beautiful. She wore a black trench coat, a plain white tee and form-fitting jeans. She still carried that cane, maybe she never did recover from her injury. Her eyes welled up, I couldn't help but feel as emotional. Here we are- in the place where we first met each other. She scurried towards me and gave me a hug- that spelled everything for me. I knew what the notion meant. I felt at home.

"I… I waited for you everyday. I'm here everyday 4 o'clock right before sundown, hoping for this day and here you are! Here you are!" She pushed my shoulders to take a better look at me, as if checking to see if this is fantasy or reality. I remained motionless. She still kept that SMILE, she carefully got something from her pocket, it was our ring. She took my hand and was about to put it back but then she noticed- a ring was already there. I couldn't say anything. What do I say? What do I say? What do I say?! She took a step back from me, shaking her head. It was again, that same pain-filled expression on her face, the one from six years ago. She stood there, waiting for an explanation. Not a single tear- but sorrow seeped through those green eyes. This pain she has, was too deep for tears. Again, what do I say?

"I'm getting married in four days."

She SMILED that smile again. She turned around. Her back facing me. That was when my breath left me, and this pain I feel… felt more than a thousand heartaches.

"Congratulations." Was the last thing she said before she walked away. I simply watched her disappear from my sight. Is this how she felt when I left her? Again, I feel tears and now I know why they're falling.

--

I went back to my hotel room aimlessly. Everything about me- I loathe. I went to the comfort room. I knew my what my purpose was. I would look at the face Haruka loves the most and try to understand why she loves a monster. A neglectful, pompous monster. I switched on the light. I look at my odd hair, _I__ love your hair,_ she would say to me almost everyday. Specially when I told her I wanted to dye it brown. I look at my eyes, same blue pools that she LOVES. My nose and how she would playfully pinch it. My lips, and how she would lovingly kiss it. I close my eyes. I hated Haruka for Hotaru's death...

_FLASHBACK_

_The phone rang. It was barely half past nine. I took it with the usual chirp in my voice._

_"Hello?"_

_"Is this Michiru Kaioh? This is Officer Kizuma. Tenoh-san and your daughter have been involved in an accident." I dropped the phone._

_Before I knew I was scrambling my way to the hospital. To my destination- to where they were. I waited and waited in hopes that both of them are alright. But I didn't know the weight of the situation. I didn't know it was critical. The white coats arrived. I stopped from breathing._

_"Miss Tenoh is alright, but her right knee has been smashed, there is only so much surgery can do..." I smiled. Thank God, she's alive!_

_"But... you're daughter's concussion lead to internal hemorrage... I'm afraid..." No. Don't say it. "There's nothing we can do." I cried and cried._

_I watched them put my daughter away, I followed them to the morgue. I watched her tiny lifeless body in the cold steel case. She must be cold, she needs a blanket. She needs... I need her. I want her back! But there's nothing I can do._

_End of FLASHBACK_

... And now, I hate myself. I winced as I felt arms wrap around my waist. Its my soon to be husband, he's kissing my neck. I didn't move, maybe because I couldn't fake it anymore, not after I saw Haruka. Not after realising everything. But still a weakling, I allowed him to do as he pleases. Then he stops.

"Michiru? What's the matter?" I didn't even notice I was crying.

"Nothing. Its nothing. Tears of joy." I lied ofcourse. He smiled, a smile built out of ignorance.

"I love you Michiru."

"I love you too Francois" Another lie.

After a night of empty love-making. I find myself staring the ceiling. Everything didn't feel right. Francois arms are too bulky, his shouder blades are too pointed, his chest is too hard, his collar bone portrudes too much. I didn't feel comfortable in his embrace... I didn't fit. I got up, not surprised to see him not awake. The house could be on fire and still he wouldn't rouse. I wanted to walk outside. I grabbed my coat and headed for the door.

--

God must be playing tricks because just when I got about two blocks away from the hotel - there was Haruka, picking up flowers from that stupid flourist who was obviously trying to make a pass at her! But she remained- unmoved. She smiled that empty smile again before taking off but that wretched girl once again touched her in the arm and gave her free red roses. Then Haruka took off. I followed her of course but not before scowling at the flourist.

"Handsome ain't he? They say he's always here to wait for the love of his life. Stupid bitch left him." She laughed.

"What do you know?!" I said before briskly walking or silently running after Haruka.

I realised now where she's going. I see white crosses and museleums, and a familiar place. She knelt on one knee with difficulty before adjusting the other with both her hands. I wanted to help but I just might ruin the moment. She placed the flowers she bought as well as the ones she got for free on Hotaru's grave. I see her shoulders shaking as she put both her hands to her knees. She fell, she hugged the epitaph. I remember what was written - Loving daughter to Haruka and Michiru... That was when I decided to finally approach her. I knelt beside her, I felt her cringe at my touch, she looked up at me- her eyes were full of pain and hate and love- it was hard to decipher.

"What are you doing here?!" I was caught off guard. I didn't know she was going to be this hostile.

"I just wanted to see our daughter." and you.

"Then go see her when I'm not around! I'm the one who murdered her right? Haruka Tenoh murdered poor helpless victimized Hotaru!" I didn't notice my hand went up automatically at the insult. I slapped her.

"Mock me all you want but don't you mock our daughter." She laughed maniacally, it wasn't that sort of laughter that ensues happiness. That laughter was haunting. Her sorrow echoed through it. She raised her head, now completely stoic, she took the ring out of her pocket again and handed the ring to me. It was in her open palm.

"Take the ring, its yours. Do what you want with it." I looked at the ring, they were of dolphins and in the middle was a single diamond, Haruka said it symbolizes that she is the only one, so there need not be any other diamonds. I remained still, looking at the ring as I reminisce.

"Take it." This time she said it with gritted teeth. I still didn't move nor say anything. In her anger she threw it away. "Fine." She said in vengeance. She stood up from where we knelt. She was struggling, I went by her side to help her but she pushed me away.

"I don't need you help! I went on with my life without you having to help me!" She yelled at me once more, it was so painful to see her act this way towards me. I feels so painfult o be pushed around by her. But I guess I deserve it. Then she cried again. This time she went towards me, and embraced me fiercely, I couldn't help but hold her equally as tight. We cried in each other's arms. I found myself going with her this day.

--

We were back in our house. Same old paintings and portraits and... family pictures hanged up on the wall. A wave of longing suddenly came over me. Haruka was making tea in the kitchen as I walk around my time capsule. Hotaru- she was still a child, she could have been on the brink of womanhood by now. I smile at the thought of our Hotaru being chased and courted by her many admirers.

"Tea's ready..." She said weakly. I glanced at the table near the couch. there were scattered pills on it. Was she sick? But shrugged off the thought when she directed me to sit down. We sat down on the coffee table. She took, what seems to look like an elastic band and tied her hair back. She looked handsome in her new hair style. Like rock icon, with her plaid shirt and leather jacket.

"So... how have you been?" She asked, I swear there was something wrong with her voice.

"I'm good." She simply nodded as she took a sip of her tea and so did I.

"So, who's this soon to be husband of yours? Does he treat you well?" How do I answer that? A nod.

"Good." She smiled, but this time I couldn't read it. I felt like a stranger in our house. or what used to be our house.

"I'm thinking of selling this place. I hope you don't mind." My heart broke into a million pieces at what she just said. I know why she wanted to sell it but still- it hurts.

"Why would I?" I said in anger but I regret it now more than ever, I just pushed her further away. She smiled again. I swear she smiles everytime I say anything bad.

"I'm moving out too." Another blow to my heart, she just keeps breaking my heart today. But then again, I took hers and threw it out.

"Where to?" I asked, truthfully, I am afraid of never seeing her again. She smiled again like she did again and again at my every response.

"Away..." She trailed off and without thinking, I asked...

"From who?" A little too eagerly. She just smiled before taking my cup along with hers and headed for the sink to wash the cups and dishes.

The only thing that went through my head was losing her. Not being able to see even a glimpse of her. Again, I scurried my way to the kitchen with her back facing me. I poke her back, afraid that she might react to my touch violently.

"Where are you going?" No answer. "Haruka?" No answer. "Where?!" I snapped again. She finished with her chore and slowly turned around to face me.

"I'm dying Michiru..." What? I stumbled a few steps backwards. Did I just hear that right?

"W-what?"

"I have AIDS Michiru."

"H-how?! You slept around?!" Michiru was appalled at the thought but she also slept with Francois.

"Heroin. I got it through an infected needle." She calmly stated as if it was the most natural thing to do. I couldn't believe it.

I feel warm uncontrollable tears stream out of my eyes, then I looked at the pills once more, then I remember how different her voice became. I shook my head; she took her cane from the corner of the sink and made her way toward me. I was bawling my heart out. I can't believe it. She embraced me again, this time, I embraced her back with all the desperation in the world. What have I done? I just allowed twelve years to pass us by.

"Shhhhhhh... Everything's going to be all right now. You can have a better life. Something I could never provide. You're smart and beautiful and you have a wonderful soul. Your fiancé's luck to have you." She tried to comfort me, but nothing could ever take away this pain. I wish, time would reverse or at least stays still, to wait for me and Haruka but time didn't stop for Hotaru, time wouldn't stop for Haruka. I slowly looked up to see her looking at me. I pulled her face down for a kiss, and we kissed, how I missed her lips. I made haste with taking her jacket off, and unbuttoning her plaid shirt but she stopped my hands.

"We can't Michiru..." She said, and I know why. I pushed her hands away as I continue to unbutton her shirt.

"We can! We will! We will be in this together! I want to have AIDS! I want to be with you! I want to be with you! We'll die together!" I said as I punched her bare chest with all my frustration, she didn't move, she just winced and took it all in. It was then that I noticed the lesions that have began to devour her once flawless skin. I cried again, why did this happen to me? I brought it upon myself. As reading my mind, Haruka said,

"Don't blame yourself. Its not your fault." She rested her forehead on top of mine before smiling. "Go, I don't want you to go home when its too late. Go back to him." She nudged me towards the direction of the door and I hesitantly followed. I found myself, leaving Haruka alone again, just when she needed most.

--

I went back to the hotel, I found Francois comfortably sitting on the couch watching TV without a care in the world. What did I like about him? Blonde hair and green eyes. I know why. I sighed, he finally notices me.

"Hey you..."

"We have to talk..."

--

**So I decided to cut it there because it seems (at least to me) like a good cut. Til next chapter.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: So here's the second chapter.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters from BSSM, Naoko Takeuchi does.**

--

I went back to the hotel, I found Francois comfortably sitting on the couch watching TV without a care in the world. What did I like about him? Blonde hair and green eyes. I know why. I sighed, he finally notices me.

"Hey you..."

"We have to talk..."

"About?" He trailed off, being the stupid man he was he didn't get the serious tone behind my voice.

"I don't want to get married." His eyes suddenly grew wide at my answer.

"Why?" He asked with slumped shoulders, I know he's not a fighter and with one firm answer, he will most likely let me go. He is french after all, he can always find someone else. I, for a fact, know that there is someone else. But I never cared. I never felt hurt. Mainly because I was never in love with him to begin with.

"I'm still in love with someone else" So I didn't say her name, as to why, I don't know. For protection perhaps.

"Like an ex or something?" Stupid stupid Francois.

"Yeah, like an ex or something."

That was about the end of the relationship and the conversation. I asked him to send some of my belongings back to me at Haruka's address and packed my things. To go back to Haruka. I arrived at her house via cab, like when I left. Everything was in reverse, my suit case, the cab and myself. I look at the door and the brass door knobs of my house and inhaled all the familiarity. I knocked three times. A tired and coughin Haruka opened the door. She was holding a beat up white Handkerchief that used to belong to Hotaru. She was surprised to see me, I didn't explain myself as I went past her, heading for the master's bedroom.

"Michiru? What are you doing?" She asked me in between fits of her coughing. She followed me and just watched me with a few minor interruptions as I unload my belongings into our cabinet.

"I'm staying." I firmly stated as I turned around I notice an ashtray and heaps of cigarette butts on it and some on the floor. "Since when have you started smoking?!" I asked, my tone rising in anger.

"Since when did you care?!" She snapped at me. Maybe I deserve that. Instead of answering, I took out all her cigerettes and her ashtray and walked right past her to throw it in the garbage bin. She grabbed my hand before I was able to throw the last three packets.

"What on earth do you think you're doing?!" She tried to reach out for her cancer sticks but in reflex I kneed her knee, yes, what else was I supposed to do? She has a strong upper body strength. Then I finally threw them. She stood up with a rageful look.

"You come to my house uninvited then you throw away my stuff! Who the hell-" I had to cut her off at some point.

"This is our house!" I shouted back.

"Not since you left!" She barked back, ok, that hurts but I deserve that. I looked at her, I touched her arm and smiled at her weakly.

"I want you to be healthy. I want to take care of you."

"Why?" She scoffed. Disbelief evident in her voice.

"Because I'm sorry. I'm stupid. I love you and I want you to live. I want you here next to me until we grow old." I couldn't stop the tears from falling, I couldn't. Not anymore. Here I am, at age 34, crying like a broken hearted teenager, in front of the only person I could ever love. The one I took for granted. The one I blamed for life's tragedy. I couldn't stop babbling so I continued on with my reasoning, "You said... when we were young, you said we'll get married at 22 and then we lost Hotaru and I didn't know what to do, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do, I'm stupid. Its all my fault!" I didn't know how my words sounded like due to my sobbing and muffling and drastic tears but Haruka must have understood because after that, she went to me and embraced me.

"Its my fault and I'm the one who's stupid." She whispers to me. I looked up, grabbed her face with both my hands and tried to kiss her, but she moved her head, so I placed a kiss that lasted long on her cheek. She gently wiped my tears away and kissed my forehead. She sighed.

"I want to talk to you more... but I'm tired Michi." I smiled at my familiar pet name. I helped her move to the bedroom and gently placed her knees on the bed.

"I'll be back. Promise." I smiled at her, I went to the living room to clean up the mess. I saw a few syringes, I frowned. But now that I'm here, I'll make sure Haruka's well taken care of. I threw away all the things that could be harmful to her health and went back to the bedroom. There she lies with her right arm sprawled across the other side of the bed as if waiting for me to curl up next to her. I went to get some clothes to sleep in and I still find Haruka's shirt to be the most comfortable. Now back unto her welcoming arms, I leaned my head on her shoulders as I drag her hand to be placed just below my chest. Finally. I fit.

--

I woke up around 9 in the morning, I gently took Haruka's arm off of me, careful enough to not wake her. I tiptoed my way downstairs and searched for food, apparently there is none. Why wouldn't she buy food? So I dressed up and headed for the market. I bought fish, a lot of vegetables, vitamins, juice and did I say a lot of green leafy vegetables?

After half an hour I made it back to our place, when I opened the door, I saw Haruka sprawled all over the floor. My heart skipped a beat, the brown paper bag fell to the floor with a loud thud. I went to Haruka's side immediately.

"Haruka?" I asked with a huge amount of anxiety in my voice.

"I slipped." She smiled sheepishly at me. "I thought you left me, so I semi-ran." I giggled at her joke.

"Don't scare me like that. I just bought food and vitamins." Haruka furrowed her brows. "I heard that, if you maintain a healthy lifestyle to keep your immune system as strong as possible, then we can beat your disease." A tear almost escaped my eyes again. Haruka once again wiped it before it smears my face.

"Ok. Lets do that." Haruka smiled at me but this time, it was a real smile.

I prepared a hefty lunch for her. I bought a fresh filleted fish and seasoned it with pepper, salt and lemon zest. I also made fresh orange juice for her. I also made a garden salad, then placed her vitamins on a smaller plate. Vitamins from A to Zinc. Then I took out the medicine I saw her taking from the other night. Which she explained to me was part of her combination therapy.

"Wow! I almost forgot how good a cook you are!" She beamed at me.

"Glad you liked it." I know I must have been smiling from ear to ear.

After that, we decided to take a bath, together. I saw some of her lesions and could not help but feel saddened by it. We turned on the shower, water dripped swifty into our bodies. She was still fit, her muscles were still there, her abs were still there. She must have been fighting the disease before I ever came back. I smile, she looked at me.

"What are you smiling about?" She said, her wet hair now sticking to her face. I just shaked my head slowly.

I traced the curves of her body and I hear her sigh. It ellicited this fire within me to do more than just that. I kissed her deeply, passionately, my tongue snaking through her welcoming mouth. I allowed my hands to wander over her body before cupping her breast. Squeezing and pinching. I moved my head to replace my hands- finally I hear her moan. I motioned to go lower, but Haruka caught my head and pulled me up from my position.

"Michiru..." She said breathlessly. "We can't... don't..."

"Ruka, I want to make love to you." It was honestly just that. She saw the urgency in my eyes and took my right hand from her chest and placed it between her legs.

"Then do it this way." She looked at me with worried eyes. I sighed and nodded.

I'm glad we were able to touch each other that way again despite the complications. Despite the LIMITATIONS. I cuddled next to her again, it was almost 4 o'clock in the afternoon. She was humming a tune. I laughed, she smiled at me. I just can't get enough of her smile.

"Imagine you and me... I do... so happy together..." She almost silently sang, and I helped her burst out into song and collapsing into her embrace as we shared another laugh.

"So, my little songstress, what do we have planned for this day?" She asked me. I put my hand on my chin as if I was deep in thought and pouted my lips.

"Hmm. Let's go to Oikawa Bridge." I suggested. I wanted to be with her again. I want to look like a friggin' tourist in the canoes taking pictures of everything and I want Hotaru to see this from heaven. I want her to see our little family. Happy together.

--

I held on to Haruka's hand as my other hand held her shoulder. My arms desperately extending through the length of her broad shoulders. I did not want her to use the cane any more. She did not need it. She has me now and I will be enough. I hope I am enough reason for God to not take her away.

"You're quiet. Am I too-"

"No! I was just thinking."

"About?" She asked.

"Hotaru." Her expression turned sad, "I was thinking, Hotaru would be happy to see us together again." Then once again, she smiled. I'm glad I could make her smile. I wish I could equal the amount of time I made her cry and hurting her by making her smile.

"Hai. She is."

We walked hand in hand together in the middle of the bridge, it was weird that there was a bench their, but that was the main reason whe frequented this area a lot. A kind of narrow bridge with a bench right smack in the middle of it. We sat down, her arm enveloped me, my head resting on her shoulder. All of a sudden, she bit my bonnet off of my head and threw it away, I looked at her questioningly.

"I love your hair." She smiled before kissing the top of my head.

"I know. And I love yours shorter." Sure she looked good, but she looks like a play boy with her hair long like that and I don't want other girls to pick up the idea. She just raised her brows at me before changing the subject. She once again, put her hand in her leather jacket pocket before opening her palm to reaveal the ring- the ring that had a single diamond and in the likeness of a dolphin. I cried, I thought she threw it away.

"I thought-"

"I looked for it after you left that day. It took me hours but I found it." She cut me off, but I'm glad she did. With no hesitation, I put it back on and placed it the air to give it a good view, Haruka mimmicked me as she looked at the ring I gave her, it was of leaves connecting to each other. Then we laughed again. As giddy as we were 18 years ago.

"I love you." I tell her in all honesty. "I never stopped loving you."

"I love you too."

It was turning dark so Haruka and I decided to go back home. We walked hand in hand. She looked very handsome in her leather jacket, her vintage t-shirt and the scarf she wore around her neck. Women were swooning over her and they made sure I felt their hostility. Maybe its because they saw Haruka everyday for twelve years- alone. Dreaming they would be with her. But here I am, shattering their dream. Haha.

--

We arrived home, Haruka excused herself and quickly disappeared to the bathroom. I just shook my head. I had to prepare dinner anyways, so I went to the fridge and made our HEALTHY options. I cooked Kobe Beef steak with mushroom, some more greens and fresh pineapple juice. Like in the morning, I took some of Haruka's medicine and placed it near her plate, so she doesn't forget to drink it. After a few more minutes. I hear the door to the bathroom click open- revealing a very handsome Haruka, like how I remembered her. With short hair. My mouth dropped, she laughed at me. I blushed. I felt 15 again, the odd little girl who has a crush on the school jock/pianist.

"So, what's for dinner?" She went beside me, eyeing the food I prepared, but I couldn't hear what she said, I was too focused on looking at her and her new-old look. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to have her cut her hair short. I bet more girls will look at her.

"Michi?" She asked.

"Huh?" Of course I was dumbfounded.

"I said, do you think we should at least get a civil wedding arranged?"

"OF COURSE!" I said a bit too forcefully and eagerly. She just laughed at me again before kissing me below the ear. I felt shivers down my spine. She's so sexy.

"I'm so lucky to have a great cook as a wife." She winked at me before eating her dinner.

After dinner, we washed the dishes together. We playfully splashed each other with dish washing soap infused wated, sharing quick kisses every now and then before finally calling it a night. I resumed my position back into her comforting shoulders before sleep takes me in.

--

I hear her groaning. I press the glow button of the clock in the desk nearest the bed, it was 3:43 A.M. I reckon, it was hot. Wait, its Haruka! Then it hit me, everything I read about AIDS, if this was going to be a high fever, then its bad news, real bad news. I checked her temperature, she was indeed burning. She was shivering, I try to wake her up.

"Haruka?" Please wake up. We have to go to the hospital.

"Michi... its cold." No, please, don't tell me this is pneumonia.

"Come on, we have to go to the hospital.

And so we did. As usual, I had to wait for the doctors to finish their diagnosis. I could see other people being rushed into rooms, some injuries look worse than others. And I couldn't help but think of the past.

_FLASHBACK_

_I look at Haruka's beeping monitor. Which means she's alive. Which means she didn't protect our daughter and selfishly soldiered on with her life. I look at her knee. She just lost some parts of her knee but Hotaru lost her life. She woke up. I should be happy. But when she woke up, all I could feel for her was this immense hate._

_"Michi?" She stirred._

_"Hotaru died because of you." She cried, she knew I hated her and that was not being helpful to her as she grieves the loss of our daughter._

_"I didn't mean to Michi..." She pleaded._

_END FLASHBACK_

It was the white coats again. Carrying this grey clip pad with notes in them. They would tell me how long she has and that there is nothing they can do for her.

"Ah yes, Mrs. Tenoh?" I laughed, Haruka must have told him that.

"Yes." I said.

"About your wife, she has pneumonia, but as you know, A combination of anti-HIV drugs can slow the damaging effects of HIV on the body's immune system. Since combination therapy has become available, the number of people dying from AIDS-related illnesses has fallen..." Ok keep going... please don't let there be a down side to this babble.

"Your wife, however, with constant discontinue of the right medicine and not visiting her doctor often has fallen prey to the virus, but we will do our best to strenghten her immune system. You should make it you responsibility that she does everything necessary to survive. That means, going to see the doctor every week, making sure she takes her medicine, going to therapy and having a balanced diet. We also found a huge amount of nicotine in her blood stream so tell her to stop smoking."

"She already quit." They can do something about it, they didn't say their usual speal of, 'there's nothing we can do...' that alone is a good sign, isn't it?

**--**

**That was the second cut. I will upload and update this again next week.**


	3. Chapter 3

**So here's the other chapter, I'm feeling friendly, so I updated as soon as I can. I'm no longer in a depressed state. This is for Neryssa Sanchez, R.I.P.**

**I do not own Haruka and Michiru and BSSM, Naoko Takeuchi does.**

--

After that agonizing trip to the hospital, Haruka was released, I don't know exactly for how long we stayed there, but I'm glad its over and done with. She's still here, alive and with me. That is all I cared about, she smiled weakly at me.

"Medicine's coursing its way up to my system, *yawn*, makes me feel, *yawn* like sleeping." She rested her head on my shoulders, this time, I was the one who held her, we were just in the couch, I allowed her to rest there. Her head, now on my lap. I listen to her snoring, it was comforting to know that she's still breathing next to me. I don't know what I'll do when God finally decides its time for her to join Hotaru. I try to fight back the tears but my eyes couldn't do anything to stop the sadness, I watched my fallen tear drop onto her beautiful face. I wiped it away, carefully, then stroke her now short hair. It was just two days ago, when Haruka cut it back to how short she usually kept it, during the happier days. I just loved it this way, having easy access to her neck is such a joy to me. I smile. She looks so peaceful, yet... these lesions. They are reminding me that I have no time to spare. No time to waste. I remembered what she told me in the hospital. I asked for the detailed version of how she acquired the disease, and she casually told me,

_FLASHBACK_

_She was in the hospital bed, same beeping machine. I'm glad she had a normal heart rate. She smiled at me, her eyes half opened._

_"Hey..." She said to me. I smiled back._

_"Ruka, you have to be vigilant with your health now, ok? I'll help you, but help me in the process, ok? I don't want to lose you again." She just nodded slowly. I looked at her, hesitant, I wanted to know why she did what she did, how and when it all started, she could see the me fighting battles in my head, she frowned a bit._

_"Anything you want to talk about?" She offered a bit shakily, a little bit afraid of what I might say._

_"Ano, I want to know how all of this started. How? When? Where? Why?" I traced the track marks in her arms before I barged in with all my questions in one go, her eyes widened and with a heavy sigh, she closed them. I thought she didn't want to talk about it, but then she began talking, with her eyes closed._

_"When you left me, I did everything I possibly can to move on. Called Setsuna, but then I figured she was at the time gate, so... I didn't want to bother her. I hung out with the inners, they were very accomodating and helpful, they set me up on dates, they said I should try to move on. Its what Hotaru wants." She paused, I frowned at the thought of the inners setting her up with someone else. After all, Neptune and Uranus belong to each other, but I brushed off the thought to make room for more of Haruka's answers. "It didn't work and I turned to the dark side. At first it was just weed, I met some "friends" and then it progressed to cocaine, then there was heroin. It gave me a different high. I would hallucinate, most of the time about you being here and it kept me happy, so I took more and more, I remember sharing a needle with someone because I was so desperate to see you even if you were just pigment of my imagination," She laughs at her stupidity, but I just looked at her with intent on finding out more, "That's when I acquired this disease. I found out about three years later, when I saw a suspicious mark on my abdomen. I though it was just a rash but I knew it had something to do with my coughing and my fever, so I went to the hospital and they said what you already know. I went on with treatment for about 2 and a half months before completely losing track of it... it felt meaningless to go on, not without you around, but I still tried, I kept myself fit. I always walk to the bridge, it gave me a certain drive... I don't know what for. But I always knew I would see you again. I just didn't know that I would have you again." She smiled again, this time reaching for my hand and rubbing it with her thumb._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

She woke up. Finally. I didn't sleep like she did, I was afraid of letting myself fall into sleep. Afraid that this could be last of her, alive, I see. How many more breakfast's, lunches and dinners do we have together? How many more times do I get to hold her like this? She rubbed her eyes before finally opening them. She reached for my face and sported that questioning look she often has when I'm contemplating about something.

"Michi?" She cautiously asked me.

I'm such a cry baby nowadays, my tears escaped me again. My shoulders were shuddering uncontrollably, she stood up from my lap to give me a hug. I cried in her chest as I clung tightly on her shirt. If only I could tell her how sorry I was, how much regret there is coursing through system as I pray that all her treatments and all her medicines work for her. Its slowly eating away at my soul like the virus eating away at her life. She just kissed the top of my head. Aware that there is really nothing she could do but to comfort me that way. She's Sailor Uranus! Why is she dying of AIDS? Why couldn't Sailor Saturn save herself from that car crash, why couldn't she withstand the impact of that truck when it collided with Haruka's car? What use was all our powers for? What use was it to save whole world if it meant that it would soon destroy mine? Why did we have to die all over again to save the world? Then now that it is safe, it completely turns its back on me- ON US. Why?

"I promise to be cooperative. We'll go to the doctors weekly. I will take my medicine on time, I won't smoke, I will eat properly and we will exercise together. Yoga, pilates, capoiera, kung fu, karate, taekwondo, aikido, judo, jujitsu, jeet-kun-do, aerobics... hip-hop abs, belly dancing?" She questioned the last one but looked at me with that funny face of hers, so I coudn't help but laugh. "That's more like it." She said again with her disarming smile. I just stayed there in her arms and we talked and we talked and we reminisced smiling at every bit of the conversation.

"Yeah, I remembered you running away from me as if you could, when you thought you found out who I liked." She ridiculed me in my youth.

"Ha! How was I to know? You were always seen flirting with her!" I crossed my hands in front of my chest and pouted.

"Yare yare! You were just too dense to notice. I flirt with girls I don't like, I'm usually stuttery with the one I love."

"Y-yeah. W-would you l-like to go have lunch with m-me t-tonight? I thought that was funny. Lunch at night eh? Somebody was nervous about something!" I poked her in the rib, this time it was she who pouted.

"Rub it in why dont you." She said with a cute frown on her face, I just hugged her as tight as possible. I kissed her again, licking the corner of her lips, I feel her cringe, nowadays she was always cautious and hesitant when it comes to making love and I know I would hear her say my name and try to stop me again. But I want as much as I can have of her. I wanted her, every damn breathing moment.

"Michi..." There it was again, the first warning. I kissed the spot below her ear, I felt her shift uncomfortably in my grasp but I also hear her sigh. I continued to press myself against her as we fall deeper into the couch. We were lying down. I went back to her inviting lips, kissing her hungrily, twelve years worth of hunger, I unbuttoned her shirt with haste, this time her hands went up and she placed it ever so lightly at the small of my back, We kissed with our tongues intertwining. Finally, I got rid of her shirt. Happy that she didn't wear any bra. I played with her breast, stroking her nipples lightly before pinching it. She moaned against my kiss. I trailed kisses from her lips all the way to her chest, I gently nibbled her mounds elliciting more moans from my blonde lover. She began bucking her hips against my knee as her head trashed to the arm rest of the couch. Its time to focus my attention between her legs. I pulled her pants down, surprisingly, she wasn't wearing any form of underwear today. This must be my lucky day. I smiled at her gloriously nude form, she looked at me as I paused.

"Michi?" She asked huskily.

"You're so beautiful." She just smiled at my response and closed her eyes.

I proceeded with my ministrations. My hand gently toying with her clit, she moaned louder this time. I continued to create invisible circular patterns around the sensitive nub, hips rising up and down as I do so.

"God, Michiru..." I love it when she says my name like that. I inserted two fingers into her rose wet cave, pumping with rhythm. Slowly at first making sure it was at a good pace, I tiwsted my hand to give her a different kind of pleasure, she grunted a bit then moaned, this time I pushed my fingers deeper into her with a faster pace. Her voice became louder as I pump, harder and faster, I could feel her walls slowly tightening. Her knees slowly closing to each other. Her whole body shook before she sat up and embraced me tightly as if to stop what I was doing. She panted. I listened to her heavy breathing and inhaled her scent. Beads of sweat clung to her bare skin like a tattoo. After a few minutes of rest, I find myself pinned down on the couch, Haruka, unfortunately wore her pants again. This time, it was her lips on top of mine. She kissed me with such ferocity that I couldn't help but put my hands behind her head and pull her head to deepen the kiss. She expertly took my top off and without further ado, suckled my mounds into the whole her mouth, her other hand was busy toying with my nipple. I moaned and I moaned as I begged for more. Begging for her not to stop and stop, she didn't. She gently placed light kisses on my stomach licking my hot skin, she carefully unzipped my skirt and I lifted up waist in the air to allow her to easily slide the garment off of my waiting wanting region. She teased me a little bit as she lightly sucked the sides of my leg with her warm tongue.

"Ruka..." I purred hoping she would put an end to the teasing and proceed with what she was aiming for.

I felt her tongue on my throbbing nub, her warm moist tongue moved up and down, I can't believe I almost forgot how this felt. Francois was a selfish lover and he didn't satisfy me at all. Haruka knew everything about me. Everything. Every inch of my body and every reaction she can get from it. I felt warm gush of moist liquid run trough my thighs, I know I'm near the edge of coming. She stopped. I popped my head up to see her smiling.

"Not yet..." Such a tease, she inserted her fingers deep into me. I fall back into my place, bucking under her hand, waves of pleasure engulfed my wholed body as she pumped into me. She then lowered her head to lick my wildly throbbing clit, the combination of pumping and licking sent my body to a shivering state, I came, I squeezed her head with my knee but still she didn't stop, she continued with her deed, I find myself wildly trashing my head from side to side. My hand automatically grabbed her head to push her face further into the spot, I could feel it rushing like the rivers of amazon between my thighs again, I shuddered under her kisses and her touch, she rouse from between my legs sporting that arrogant smirk- a true Tenoh trademark. She went closer to my face and kissed me, I tasted my moistness on her face and her kisses before crashing on top me in an embrace. Finally, I could sleep.

I didn't even notice that it was already ten hours later after we made love. I looked around the room, and saw Haruka gorgeously nude and asleep on top me. Her wild blonde hair moving with the wind, I could feel it lightly trailing my chest. I put my hand behind her head and slowly brushed her hair with my fingers. She mumbled something incoherent. I just smile. How can everything be like this now? After what we've done for the world? After what we've sacrificed? It would only end like this. I can't help but feel like I'm counting the hours. With the knowledge of my one true love being infected with such a virus, threatens the idea of our happily ever after. I feel those tears again. I try not to cry, but the whole situation is too hard to bear. My whole body starting to shake uncontrollably, I hope I don't wake her up again. So I sniffed my last tears away, trying not to ruin our tranquil moment.

--

**There it is. I cut It again, I'm trying to stretch this to atleast 5 or 7 chapters because I'm evil that way. Thanks for the reviews.**


	4. Chapter 4

**So here's the other chapter, I'm feeling friendly, so I updated as soon as I can. I'm no longer in a depressed state. This is for Neryssa Sanchez, R.I.P.**

**I do not own Haruka and Michiru and BSSM, Naoko Takeuchi does.**

--

We laughed at what we were wearing. She wore a blazer, a white v-neck, black jeans and square-pointed-toe black shoes. I wore a cannary cotton dress. So much for wedding attires. We exited the municipal hall giggling like little school girls. I could see a few women, who has grown accustomed to seeing Haruka alone, frown at my presence. We went down a few flight of stairs and the inners greeted us.

"Congratulations TENOHs!" The five of them screamed, together with a smiling Mamoru who was carrying Chibi-Usa in her arms, a pang of pain went by me, but I brushed it off, this was not the time to feel sad.

"Yeah. Meet Mrs. Tenoh!"

Haruka proudly hugged me in front of evryone, we were laughing and laughing. After the civil wedding, we went to La Tasca, to have dinner with the inners. It was nice to be surrounded by familiar people.

"So how's your treatment going Haruka-san?" Usagi asked from across the table, as she shamefully ate her whole steak in one go. Everyone else sweatdropped.

"Well, you don't have to worry Odango-atama! I have great wife to take care of me." She motioned to grab my hand and gently caress it with her thumb.

"I'm glad to hear that." Ami said, "I heard there were a lot of break throughs, medically, in the past 5 years, with Michiru around, I'm sure you'll be just fine Haruka-san."

"Hai." Haruka proudly agreed.

"So, have you thought about starting your family again?" Minako asked, the rest of the inners smacked their foreheads, Haruka and I just smiled, knowing that the question was raised out of concern and ignorance and not to offend.

"There will be no replacing Hotaru in our hearts but who knows what the future will bring." I casually stated looking at the blonde on my side. We both exchanged knowing smiles before we share a kiss, to which the inners found delight.

It wasn't soon before we called it a night, bowing at each other before we separated our ways. They congratulated us once more as they called out to us from a distance before disappearing from our sight.

Haruka and I went back to the house, still giggling. She had me in her arms the whole time. Humming all kinds of tunes. We were happy. We were truly happy for the first time in twelve years. She carried me upstairs. Surprised that she yawned.

"Ooops. Don't blame my stamina, its the meds. Really." Who am I to hinder her from sleeping? She needs it. If it will help keep her alive. Then sleep whenever you want. She yawned, unaware that she was still wearing the clothes she wore the whole day. I just smile as I took off her clothes. I started with her shoes and her socks, then her blazer, her shirt, her pants and her underwear. She didn't budge as I put on her new set of clothes to sleep in. I'm beginning to be an expert at this. She didn't stir from her sleep at all.

I decided to make myself some tea before joining her in her sleep. A cup of earl grey's will do. I took the kettle and poured water in it, grabbing a tea bag, I placed it inside the cup. I waited for a few minutes then I hear the kettle's cry. I poured the hot water in my cup, surprisingly, I felt two arms wrap itself around my waist. I put down the cup for a while.

"I thought you were asleep?" I asked the blonde whose chin was now resting on top of my shoulders.

"Hnn, can't sleep without you near me... can I have some tea as well?" She asked kissing the bare part of neck in the process.

"I think there's some hot water left, what do you want?"

"Just green tea for me." She smiled before kissing me in the cheek.

She sat patiently in the coffee table while I juggle two tea cups in my hand. She was smiling at me, her hand propped on her chin. She gave me a wink and I just laughed. Everything looked normal, except it wasn't and I know we're living in borrowed time. Now I sat sat next to her, dragging the seat so I could be seated beside her, I leaned my head on her shoulders as we sip our cup of tea.

"I like this." She said before taking another sip of her tea.

"What about this do you like?"

"Married life. Cups of tea every night." She smiled and placed a light kiss on top of my head.

Every night? Every night of the entirety of my life- I surely hope so. She put down her cup and raised her right arm, that were now wrapped around my shoulders, I snuggled deeper into the hug as I take a few last sips of my tea. I put the cup down and wrapped my arms around her waist. I reckon she has gone thinner. Am I supposed to be worried? Should I be?

"Michi... so where do you want to go for our honeymoon?" She asked, I didn't even notice she was talking. I just spaced out again. "Michi? What's wrong?"

"I... uh... nothing. I was just thinking. What did you say?"

"Thinking about what?" She asked with concern in her voice.

"Haruka... I don't want to lose you." There they were again, those bloody tears. I wish I would just spend less time crying and spend more happy days with Haruka, but how can I? How can I go past the idea of possibly losing her in a few days? weeks? months? years? I can't bear the thought the time frame is much too short. We should be- forever. She only embraced me.

"Shh... Michi, its been what? 4 months? 4 magical months, I haven't been sick, were here. We always go to the doctor. I'm healthy. We're together and thats all that matters. We shouldn't give up and we should think about our super-honey moon! We should go to Canada- to go skiing, to Italy- to have as many pizza's as we like and to Stradbroke Island- to go fishing and diving and 4-wheel driving." She beamed at me, sounds like a good plan, but it also seems like its going to be a mere good memory of her. What the hell, I should just focus on what is here-now. But I wish time would go slower. I wish.

"That is a good idea Mr. Tenoh." I joked, She smirked.

"Of course it is Mrs. Tenoh," She kissed me in the lips before taking my hand, observing the ring around our fingers and flashing it to me. "I married the most beautiful girl in the universe." We laughed.

"Minako-san would protest." I jested.

"Oh I know she would. Haha. But she's only third on my list." Haruka smiled.

"Oh? You have a list?" I pretended as I stare at her with mock anger. She was quick to catch on.

"Yeah, from from rank 1-10. 1.) Michiru Tenoh, of course. 2.) Rei Hino 3.) Minako Aino 4.) Princess Serenity 5.) Setsuna Meioh-"

"Setsuna's in it too?" I laughed.

"Shhhh woman! The list isn't finished yet, 6.) Ami Mizuno 7.) Makoto Kino 8.) Galaxia 9.) Beryll and 10.) Natalie Portman" She smiled at me with mischief.

"Wow, you included villains and last on your list is a hollywood celebrity. I thought you to be the Angelina Jolie type of admirer. I didn't know you like them your women, waif." We laughed.

"Well, you are waif my darling wife. I like your itsy-bitsy waist. No bulges, soft tummy and almost portruding ribs." I slapped her playfully as she laughed some more, this time she tickled me endlessly, I laughed and I laughed and I begged her to stop, it took her a while before she did so.

--

It was no sooner that we found ourselves naked and sprawled in the kitchen floor with a few blankets to cover ourselves and the floor. She was toying with my hair again, curling and letting it slip through her fingers. Humming and lightly singing to a tune again, a sad one, I will remember you by Sarah Mclachlan.

_I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Dont let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories_

_Remember the good times that we had?  
I let them slip away from us when things got bad  
How clearly I first saw you smilin in the sun  
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one_

_I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Dont let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories_

_Im so tired but I cant sleep  
Standin on the edge of something much too deep  
Its funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word  
We are screaming inside, but we cant be heard_

_But I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Dont let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories_

_Im so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose  
Clinging to a past that doesnt let me choose  
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night  
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light_

_And I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Dont let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories_

_And I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Dont let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories  
Weep not for the memories _

As I listen to her soft singing, I couldn't help but be brought back to the past. Of wasted years and denial. Oh how much I wish I could go back to that time. To turn back the hands of time would mean heaven on earth.

_FLASHBACK_

_We returned to our house the day after Hotaru's funeral. We were all wearing black, I evaded Haruka as much as I can, I would never sleep on the same bed with her and everytime she tries to touch me, I push her away and with not much effort, I would succeed. I feel sorry for hurting her sometimes, specially with her knee like that. But I needed an outlet for my rage, for my loss, for my sanity and for understanding Hotaru's death._

_"Michi?" She carefully tucked a few stray strands of my hair away from my face. I slapped her hand._

_"Leave me alone!" I stood up from the couch we were seated._

_"Do you still love me?" She asked with watery eyes, she reached for my hand, afraid that I would push it away. At first I didn't react to her touch, she smiled a bit, but then I can't understand til where my rage came from. I looked at her with all my fury._

_"I hate you." I said as I left her in the couch, alone. She cried all night and didn't change her clothes._

_The next morning I see her crashed out in the couch with a bottle of brandy in her hand. I cover my mouth with both my hands, careful not to emit a sound, I look at my fiance's defeated form, and I allow my tears to fall. What have I done?_

_End Flashback_

_"_I love you Michiru." She said with that tired voice of hers. She resigned to sleep, blanketing me with her arms, I whisper gently into her lips,

"I love you, Haruka." Before kissing her and joining her in her sleep.

We have a lot of plans. Plans for our life, in this life! And I don't intend on losing her, losing the one I love to a virus when our love is much much stronger than it is. I smile at our recent conversation. Our "super" honeymoon. I should think about that. Canada, Italy and Australia. Not a bad plan for a blonde. I look at her peaceful face one more time before closing my eyes. I find myself with her, always, even in dreams. I won't lose her. I will never ever lose her. Not to a virus and not in this life.

**_AN: I always cut the chapters for this story with both characters or one character resigning to sleep. Hehe. So yeah, thats it for this week, I'm gonna be out, You should start reviewing, if you I don't see reviews, I won't update this story. LOL! I will join the trend of replying to reviewees because I just think its impolite if I go on with ignoring you guys. XD_**

_**harucino** - glad to hear that pal. Don't cry please. Hehe._

_**petiyaka** - Petiyaka, i didn't mean it that way. I said, stupid Francois, the character, not the race. :) The only particular thing I said about the french, i think, is about a french man being a playboy, which was slightly implied. Sorry you misunderstood. I mean no offense to any nationality whatsoever. Thanks for the review._

_**Vanessa Riverton** - yeah, my first try at lemonified fics. Hope you like it, it would be a big disappointment in my life if you didn't :)_

_**RubyNury** -thanks for your continuous support. I'll update as much as I can._

_**t.** - yeah, i know what you mean. That's my favorite word as of the moment since everything about my life is "ouch", hope you like this one._

_**mcr rox** - Sorry didn't want to make you cry. *Hands handkerchief* but I'm in a depressed state so I made this one, hope you like it._

_**Mantaray** - thanks. What I'm going through is heart-wrenching as well, good to know, I came up with an equally heart-wrenching story._

_**petiyaka** - yeah I know. What happened eh? I just don't want to focus my sadness in my comedies because I would ruin it and I just might offend people with uber sarcasm if I do so, so I wrote this one. Hope you like it too._

_**RubyNury** - Thanks. I'm just sad so I wrote a sad fic, good to know something good came out of my depression. I will update. Don't worry. Thanks for the reviews again._


	5. Chapter 5

**Do I kill Haruka? Do I? Hehe.**

**Again, BSSM Doesn't belong to me, but If H & M were given to me willingly, I would gladly take them.**

**Now we begin with the FINAL chapter.**

* * *

I woke up to a terrible sight. Haruka was sweating profusely. I could sense she was having chills. Her fever was very high and she could barely speak.

"Haruka! Are you alright? Haruka! Oh My God! Say something! Please! Please! Oh God! Please!" I was desperate to hear her voice. All she did was grunt and moan in pain. I turned her body so she was facing me, lightly cradling her torso. I kiss her face one too many times. Her eyes merely fluttered.

"Mi...Michi...ru. I f...feel...c..c..cold, I'm s-sorry." she weakly said to me. We were supposed to be having our honeymoon next week. What a way to postpone it God!

"Shhh... we'll go to the hospital. Ok? They can make you feel better. You'll be alright. You promised to be here with me. You're my happily ever after remember?" I reach out for her hand, I saw a small smile curve on her lips and then a soft nod. I dialled the ambulance.

I could tell, this time was different. I could feel her slipping away. I held her hand, the coolness f the ring in my palm, I keep comparing her warmth. A sign, any sign that leads to the fact that she is still alive. Alive, with me. Not with Hotaru. Not yet. Please. She turned to face me, the weight of her head pressing on my leg. I didn't mind the pins and needles sensation it created, as long as she created it. As long as she's here with me. As long as she breathes.

She coughs.

"I am Sailor Uranus." She coughs some more.

"I am Sailor Uranus." She coughs and laughs in between her fits of coughing.

"I am Sailor Fucking Uranus. I saved the world once. All I ask, all I want is to be with you..." She was crying, and I couldn't resist it anymore, My will to keep strong suddenly crumbled.

"...I don't want to disappear. I don't want this to end. Not when I finally have you. This is all my fault... I'm... I'm so sorry. Its all my fault. If we didn't go that night. Had I been 2 seconds slower. None of this would have happened.I... Im sorry. I love you so much and I wish thats enough. I wish thats enough to keep you strong. Please, live. For me, Michiru. I love you... so much. So very much." Her hands went to the back of my neck, she had me in a very awkward embrace, but to me, it was sincere, desperate, it felt final. It was in that moment. The last few hours of her life. This will be my last memory of her. I couldn't respond. I couldn't speak, all I could do was cry in anguish. It was bittersweet. I was thankful she was still breathing but at the same time, anticipating for her heart to stop beating. I just listened to her as she tries her best to stay awake. She tells me our story.

"I remember seeing you in that white gown, I was being such a bitch. I was scared of giving up my dreams to become this skimpy skirt wearing champion of the world..." She laughed. I couldn't help but give a giggle despite the tears.

"...I remember thinking. You must be the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, and what a joy it would be to be by your side. But..."

"...It was more about the sailor fuku really, I didn't want to be your partner because of the sailor fuku. But it showcased my legs pretty well. You fell in love with me..." We laughed again. It was as if time stopped for a moment.

"...And then I accepted everything. You. What I feel for you. The Sailor fuku." She jested again.

"...It was like, everything fell into place. Having these memories makes me ready to face this. To face the end. But then again, being able to make some more with you, makes me want to live. Even just for another day..."

We held each other tighter. Despite her jokes and laughter, I knew she was growing weaker and weaker. We remained in our very acrobatic position, her head on my lap, me embracing her stomach while she tightens her grip at small of my back.

"I will always love you." It was then that I felt the absence of her warmth and the pressure of her palm. Her hands crashed to the floor and I knew- This was it. The moment I wished would never come.

"Ha...ru... ka?" I could barely even speak. I try to shake her from her trance like state. Still in denial even though the facts only point to one direction. I cried and I cried and I cried. I kept hitting her. I wanted her to feel it. I wanted it to hurt. But she didn't budge. She didn't move.

"Haruka look at me. Please. Please open your eyes. Please. Don't leave me. We still have a lot of plans. We still have to go to Italy and Canada and Australia. Please! FUCK YOU! OPEN YOUR EYES!" In one last effort to revive the dead, I slammed my fists against her chest. Sirens. I could hear Sirens... and then- black out.

* * *

I woke up in my bed. How long has it been since Haruka's funeral? I lost count. It feels like a decade. But it has been 1 year and 2 months to be exact. I could still smell her in my sheets. Its as if she's still here. I still haven't washed the clothes she wore from the last week she was alive. It was what's remaining of her that I could actually sense.

After hours and hours of moping around, I finally decided to get up. Going down the stairs was one of the hardest tasks of living. I traced the wall with my finger tips. Knocking over a few Family portraits. So this is what Haruka felt when I selfishly abandoned her. I raise my free and less destructive hand and hold it closer to my chest. I could feel it hurting. I could feel it beating against my chest. I wish it would just sponataenously combust. And in a few moments I would be delusional. Its my key to survival. We have to do what we have to do.

I could hear foot steps. Almost too real a foot step. Shuffling noises. Like a little child. It was Hotaru, her hair as messy as Haruka's, except it was jet black and a little bit longer.

"I'm home! Michiru-mama!" see what I mean about delusions. I run to imaginary alive child and hug her. She looked at me funny.

"Are you sick Michiru-mama?" I look at her. This feels all to weird. As if its... its real!

Before I knew it. My whole being was devoured by this black-hole.

"Konnichiwa, Michiru-san." I turn around to see...

"Pluto! Where am I?" It was a rarity for Pluto to take beings, may they be sailor senshi's or not to her lair, so this must be something important. Like a new mission. A new reason to be killed and join Haruka.

"It doesn't matter. What matters is YOU. You will go back to the time it all started. You will reverse what you did. You will get a chance."

"But-"

"Hear me. I have no time. I will disappear for a while my friend, just tell little Hotaru that I am stuck with my duties..."

"...Stay with them Michiru. No matter what happens. Stay."

She smiled. I know what she will go through. I know what she is up to. A tear escaped my eyes. I embraced my friend one last time and without any warning, I was not even able to thank Setsuna.

I was back to embracing Hotaru.

"Mama? Are you sick?" I pushed her out of the embrace to get a better look at her. It has been far too long since I last saw her... alive. I embraced her again. This time, tighter. Which only caused more confusion.

"I just. I love you, you know?" I wiped the tears that smeared my face.

"Are you crying Michiru-mama?" She looked at me with that deep yet innocent confusion that only a child has.

"Oh silly me, must be the onions I'm chopping." We laughed.

Then Haruka came bursting through the door, wearing a familiar, Cream colored sweater.

"Hey." She immediately came rushing towards us to give both of us a kiss, except the kiss she gave me was a little dirtier. Much different to the Haruka I knew A year and two months ago... or... since I'm in the past, 14 years from now? Who really cares. They're both here.

"So... Hime-chan, you want to go with me to buy some more ingredients for dinner? What was it You said you were making that you had to scream at me this morning?" She looked at me, half amused and half-annoyed.

* * *

_Flashback_

_"Must I do everything in this house? My career is in hibernation because I am taking care of this family. The least you could do is do some groceries. Seriously Haruka!" Haruka tried to brush it off as a joke. She headed towards me and embraced me from behind._

_"Forgive me. I will do your groceries after my practice runs from now on. I swear. Okay Love?" She simply kissed the back of my neck, but I was still annoyed so I pushed her away using my elbows. _

_"Ouch, what was that for?" Haruka yelped when I hit her in the ribs._

_"You only think of your career! What about mine?! I gave up touring and recording for us, for our family!" I was being hysterical as pointless as it was. I just wanted to argue. Because I wanted to focus on my career. because... I wasn't ready to commit myself to this family. Oh my God. Its all my fault!_

_"Michi... don't be like that. I promise to do the groceries okay? I promise, after this season's race, It will be my career's turn to hibernate, alright?" _

_"That's all you do. Be charming and forget simple duties. You have responsibilities! You're Hotaru's father figure. The least you could do is act like the provider you should be!" I knew my words must have stung her, but she didn't even flinch. She smiled even with her sad eyes._

_"I'm sorry. I'll be a good father figure and I'll be a good fiance."_

_"You can't even help me plan for the wedding!"_

_She kissed me, but I didn't respond. I walked away but she was quick to grip my wrist._

_"Don't be like this Michi. Stay." But I didn't._

_So that afternoon. Haruka went to go do the groceries. Hotaru tagged along and all hell broke loose._

_End of flash back._

A zoned out. I saw Haruka's back and Hotaru's it was like evrything was in slow motion.

I caused this. Haruka wanted to save our relationship. She knew. She knew I was planning to break up with her. Because I wanted my career to flourish and with them pulling me back - I simply couldn't. She was just trying to make things easier. She just wanted me to stay. I remember now.

They stepped closer towards the door.

"Wait!" Both of them were surprised when I screamed. Haruka looked at me as if I was crazy. So did Hotaru. but it didn't matter. They had to Stay. No matter what.

"But the shops will close in-" Before Haruka could finish her sentence, I kissed her. She smiled, still a bit bewildered but pleased.

"It doesn't matter. We can order in. Okay?" I embraced both of them. Relieved when they closed the door.

"I Love you so much, Ruka." I touched her face. I'm glad I could feel her warmth under my hand.

"Wow. You haven't called me that name for months now. Not to mention you saying you love me." she smiled. I felt like a fool. What was I thinking before? Or now before?

"Well. Fine. I'll stay." She looked at me, then at our daughter.

"So? What do you want hime-chan?" She asked our anticipating daughter.

"Pizza!" She exclaimed clearly. Haruka just looked at me for confirmation and I simply nodded.

"Pizza it is then."

During dinner, both of them were surprised that I allowed the meal to commence in front of the TV, in the couch. But they were disappointed when I insisted upon watching the news. I waited and waited. Then there it was.

A car crash on the freeway. A car collided with a 24 wheel freighter one late afternoon. The victim was none other than Setsuna Meioh.

A tear escaped my eyes. Both Haruka and Hotaru shared my grief.

But somehow I already knew, that Setsuna was going to sacrifice herself.

'Thank You, Setsuna.' I hope even through thoughts she could hear me.

And I remember her words completely.

_"Stay with them Michiru, no matter what happens. Stay."_

I will. No matter what. I know what I lost now. I will never let go of it. I will hold on to it for dear life. This is my second chance. I know what to do now.

All I really had to do to change things was to stay.

_You say. I only hear what I want to. _

_Now I know that I did something wrong 'coz I missed you._

_I missed you._

***************** FIN *****************

* * *

**And that is it for stay folks. I didn't want it to be too tragic. I wanted a lesson-learned type of fic about neglegence. Lol. So there you have it. Hope you liked it and thanks for the wonderful reviews. So in response to the reviewees:**

**kadaj076  
2009-05-07 . chapter 4**

**Here you go. The final chapter. :)**

**venz07  
2009-01-09 . chapter 4**

**Sorry. Been really busy. Working and working like a slave. Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed creating it.**

**ayeen  
2008-12-19 . chapter 4**

**Thanks much. well I intended this to be a short story but it kind of extended into a 5 chappie fic. Hope you liked it.**

**harucino  
2008-12-19 . chapter 4**

**Thanks. heres the end. lol.**

**a friend  
2008-12-18 . chapter 4**

**I magically brought her to life, don't cry. Lol.**

**mcr rox  
2008-12-18 . chapter 4**

**I know by the time you read this your river of tears are dry now. So sorry if it took me ages to finish this. But hope you liked it.**

**petiyaka  
2008-12-18 . chapter 4**

**Uhm... you dont really need to be french to be a good lover. I know I didn't offend you per say, but you must have mistaken my bashing for my imaginary character Francois as hatred for the french. So just needed to clear it out. And thanks for the reviews.**

**Vanessa Riverton  
2008-12-18 . chapter 4**

**Haha. We all have our preferences. Hope you enjoyed reading this one.**

**RubyNury  
2008-12-17 . chapter 4**

**I'm not mad at you. I am always glad when I read your lengthy reviews. I hope I didn't make you wait too long. I wanted a happy ending so I changed everything. Hope you enjoyed this one. Thank you so much for the reviews.**


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